Thursday, April 26, 2012

Two Really is the Charm......

            Everyone says when it is right, its right and you’ll know it. I’ll counter that bold statement with one of my own. Bullshit.

            When you hope it is right, you can lie to yourself until you actually believe it. Take my previous marriage to Satan’s step daughter. There were a few nice moments but overall it was like cotton candy. The concept looks nice on the outside but absolutely no substance. I spent the day walking around, putting out fires, dealing with upset family members as the newly crowned Mrs. Richardson was chasing the 4 xanexes she had with anything in a glass.

            It did make for some powerful memories like the 15 minute speech she gave, her grandfather yelling at me to take get her out of the reception before the inevitable pass-out. (Think Drunk Spring Break Girl to visualize my blushing Bride to be), and all the reruns of “Sanford and Son I watched of the gentle snores of the newly dubbed Mrs. Richardson.

            Sadly, this is only a 12 hour window of the world I was existing in at this time. You should have seen all of the fun prior to the wedding. How could I not know? Well, I lied to myself and I also drank a fair bit at the time.

            I look back and I fell sorry at myself and also a little bit angry. Why did I put up with this? I guess I thought this is what love is. Oh, I lied to myself. A lot.

            It’s nothing like what I am experiencing with Kim. I do know this right. I also know that I will never secretly regret feeling this way when things turn bad because they aren’t. That is the difference this time. I have faith in this relationship.

            Oh, I had faith in the previous relationship otherwise I would have never gotten married. I also found myself saying to myself,” Oh things will get better a few years down the road when we get past……”and then I’d list some obstacle like my masters or her schooling. We would always be fine in the future then sit back and laugh about the hard times.  

            I do not think like that with Kim. We laugh. A lot.

            During the planning stages of the previous marriage there was much laughter but it was always directed toward how the ex was being a bridezilla or how I was subservient to all her bridal wishes. It was never laughing about wacky events happening or to our guests.

            There is an expression about how every joke hides a nugget of truth somewhere. I guess everyone was seeing the damaged relationship but everyone was looking away just like I was.

            I never got excited about a wedding before like I am now. Kim has made it very easy. We sit down to discuss and we both want pretty much the same things (though she did shoot down my all Stormtrooper color guard idea. I’m working on it) And we laugh. A lot.

            Last night at Fish Tales, we had our weekly date while the kids are at church. The laughing kicked in with frenzy and we needed it. Our lives have been pretty serious lately between her school responsibilities and my whole estranged bit with Mom. Things are working out slowly so Kim and I do what we do best in tense situations. We find the humor and make fun of it.  

            How many weddings own tag lines? We do. “If you have ever wanted to wear flip flops to a wedding this is the one…..” I’ve been threatening to put up a sign saying,” CAUTION. First three rows will get wet.”

It’s not stopping at Kim and me. Everyone else seems to be getting into the act. My sister has been chatting up the notion of creating a flash mob to Pat Benatar’s,” Love is a Battlefield.”  Steve and Dave, my teacher colleagues, are threatening to create an all Guinness wedding cake covered in a Bailey’s frosting. People seem very happy for me and Kim and I can tell the difference from my last endeavor like this.

It was a rough patch for a bit but the clouds eventually dry up and goes away. Kim never left my side. As crazy it is sounds, between all this family drama and wedding planning, I feel like I have fallen for Ms. Texas a little bit more. We’ve had to work together and we did it not only well but we successfully. Oh, And we laughed. A lot.
Probably my favorite photo. Kim will do anything to make me laugh.

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