Wednesday, April 4, 2012

In Which We Learn There is a Bigger Picture To This Wedding

            My first go round with marriage was a disaster from the get go. It might come as a surprise but when one marries the step daughter of Satan, it’s not a smooth ride. Due to those circumstances, I have dodged and parried with Kim to avoid having a wedding. On top of having some personal family issues that I didn’t want to have to face, eloping seemed the right idea.
Not a far stretch from first go around

            About a week ago, Kim decided she wanted a wedding. I surprised myself by not even hesitating a bit when I responded, “Sounds good.”  It was what she wanted and besides we’d be able to include the kids thus making this about the four of us. It felt right. It is going to open some items I preferred to ignore, but having a wedding will be the first official act bringing the Richardsons, Yanceys, and Wades together.

            From the day one, Jude has been informing me he should be the best man. Barely an hour after I’d proposed to Kim, way back on December 23rd, I was alone with Jude on a bench outside halfway to Ruby Tuesdays where everyone was waiting on us. We were thumbing through the Bass Pro Shop pictures taken of the proposal.

            Jude was curled up next to me while viewing the pictures. :”So you are marrying my mom?”

“Looks that way. You OK with that?”  I felt a little head nod against my shoulder.

“Who’s going to be your best man?” asked Jude.

“I responded,” Don’t know yet, Little Man. I haven’t gotten that far yet.”

“I think I should be your Best man.” Jude said very seriously.

“Yeah?  Why is that? Do you have any qualifications for the job? I asked.

Jude’s response sat with me for days. He was so serious about it. “No, I am just the best man. “  We left it there. But all along he kept bringing up how great of a best man Jude would be.

Since this conversation back at Christmas, Kim and I have asked Roni and Jude to stand up with us and be our Maid of Honor and Best Man. Jude’s first question involved the possibility of him wearing his Han Solo outfit as we get married. I was trying to find the words to let Jude down softly when I heard, “Why not?” from Kim.

She really is the perfect woman for me. What other woman would be willing to share her special day with her son by wearing a 70s era sci fi costume? Yeah, I couldn’t figure out one either but I love it.
Ladies & Gents, meet the Groom and his Best Man

Kim called me last week. She had taken the kids to Dairy Queen before going to their weekly church thing they do. Jude and Roni were quite animated as they talked about the upcoming wedding. Kim decided to tell them how it’s the Maid’s and Best man’s responsibility to give a toast at the reception. Jude never missed a beat.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I want to thank Mr. Robby Richardson today for logging onto E-Harmony and meeting my Mom. If he had not done that we would not be here today.” The kid has a knack for words. I wish I could say he gets that from me.

Roni followed Jude’s cue with, “I’d also like to thank E-Harmony because if they weren’t around Robby and my Mom wouldn’t have met and we wouldn’t be as happy as we are now. “

I’ve been to many wedding and even gave a few toasts. Some I thought were pretty good but there is no way I can top that. I’m not surprised though. These kids are pretty sharp and they hit the nail on the head. We are all happy.

Looking back, I realized that my heart was in the heart place about eloping because I didn’t want outside factors to stress Kim and myself. My last go around was a nightmare and our “dream” wedding became a dramatic production on epic proportions. I was foolishly worried about that happening again but I know that Kim would never take advantage of me wanting to give her a special day and me getting to share in that.
This is what happens when a 7&11 year old plan your wedding

Kim and I are very affectionate but not in any sort of creepy way. It’s mostly playful. I have no problems walking into the kitchen and grabbing her just kiss or hug her. Sometimes we get the “Ohh gross!” from the kids but I’ve noticed more and more that it’s quiet. Rather than getting hassled, I see two approving faces with big grins. They like seeing their momma happy. Who can argue? I feel the same.

 They have the same look on their faces that I can remember having with my sister when we saw the Big Guy and Mom together. So many of our friends were going through their parents’ divorces that it was reassuring to see that our parents were still in love.

            I was also wrong in thinking it was just about Kim and me. I have two other little factors to consider. Roni and Jude have just as much to gain or lose in this venture as Kim and I do. I was wrong to not allow any of the focus to fall on them and give them their chance to celebrate becoming a family.

So it’s official. On May 26th, we are going to gather at Forsyth Park and proudly proclaim our love and strong desire to become one big happy family. The plans are going so smoothly that I find myself enjoying it. Rumors have even popped up of a flash mob forming. What makes this go around so much better that it’s not me laughing the hardest about this but my fiancée. One more reason why I know that it's right this time.

No comments:

Post a Comment