And Then There Was Two....

            Thirty three years ago today, my life took his first major change. My little sister, Mary was born. I remember it very clearly. First of al,l I was irritated that I had to go to school. I figured the birth of one’s baby sis counts as some sort of snow day. My parents disagreed. So I had to tough it out at Westside Elementary.

 It was the longest day of my fifth grade career. All day long, I’d try to focus on my lessons but all I could do was daydream about whether I’d have a little brother or sister waiting for me when the 3 o’ clock bell rang. I tore out of Mrs. Klein’s classroom as fast as I could all the while avoiding hall monitors who’d try to slow me down. I finally wove my way outside to the line where kids go picked up at and saw my grandparents’ Ford LTD.

Over the years, I have made a point to remember certain details about special moments in my life and fortunately my 10 year old memory knew to hold on to this one. Grandma and Pop got out of their land cruiser with a big smile on their faces. My arms were spread out wide in a hurry up sort of motion and I said words that have never left me,

” Well, what do I got?” Pop began laughing in his famous low country chortle. Grandma, on the other hand, never lost composure.

 “Robby, you have a lovely little sister.”

A little sister, I thought. Well, I can deal with that. And off to Abraham Baldwin Hospital we went to finally meet.

This was taken the Sunday following Mary's birth. It's our first picture together.

I hate to admit this but my first glimpse of Mary was a tad underwhelming. In reflection this is probably the beginning of my long held notion that babies are boring. I can remember how proud I was to be a big brother as I looked at that tiny little thing wrapped in a pink blanket. There was also this really fat baby in the crib next to her named Carnegie. He was over 12 pounds. As I stood there, I stared intently at my new little sister and waited for something to happen. Nothing. As we walked off to go check in on Mom, I recall thinking that I hope that things pick up because this was boring as hell.

This has always been my favorite pic of us together. Even at 9 mos, Mary had that devilish smile we all recognize.

Be careful what you wish for. Mary, did indeed, get more interesting. Mary was my permanent sidekick when we were kids and soon became my partner in crime as we entered our young adult years. Sure, we had some knock down drag out fights from time to time along with some quarrels of amazing proportion. When it’s all said and done, she was always by my side. I never really understood just what it meant for someone to have my back until Mary came along. I know many amazing, gifted, and talented people in my life but Mary will always be my favorite person.

Christmas 1983

             Sometimes I hate the fact she lives up in Connecuit with her awesome fiancée, Christine.

Then I remind myself that she has now a grown woman with her own life and responsibilities. Mom

and I often comment on cool it is that Mary has followed in Dad’s footsteps as a librarian. Sometimes

I even catch myself drifting off  when she goes on about some library details and I have to laugh

because it’s just like listening to our father go on. Then I think of the horror of what would it be like if

Dad was still alive and the two of them going on and on about libraries over dinner. I laugh silently to

myself.

I miss my sister on a daily basis. Even though we always joke about the dangers of the both of us living in the same zip code, I dream about it often.

It might be many years from now as I picture Kim, the kids, and myself having everyone over for a dinner. Aunt Mary and her lovely wife, Christine shows up only to be whisked away by Veronica who loves to confide in her two much-cooler-than-us-aunts. Mom and Stuart show up a little late but in plenty of time to sit down as the hilarity begins with the usual quips from me and Mary. This goes on until we go too far which is about the time Mom drop s the hammer on me to behave. Amazing how a 40ish something man can be still be intimidated by a 5’3” woman with a cane.

After dinner, the kids take off to destroy the evil Empire with a little Lego Star Wars action while Mom and Stuart hit the road before it gets too late. This leaves the Christine and Kim left to have to endure Mary and I while we go on about this, that, and the other along with  throwing out so many inside jokes that we should come with our own index. Glasses are emptied and filled while the conversation runs deep. Mary and I have always loved discussion in depth topics philosophical or historical and now we are joined by our lovely spouses who are both two smart cookies in their own right.

The evening wraps up and I have my arm around Kim as we watch the other two Richardson drive off to their very nearby home. Dishes are to be done and passed out kids must be put bed. End daydream.

What do I got? An amazing sister who I am very lucky to have not just as a sibling but also a friend. Happy Birthday, Roo. I love and miss you very much.

You can dress 'em up, ........

I’ve written many times about my fascination with Star Wars. I assure you that I while I do love this movie, I can also speak intelligently about other non-related geek subjects. Historically, I have chalked it up to being one of my guilty little pleasures. Lately, I’ve come to believe it may have some deeper roots than pure escapism.

           

      Star Wars was the launching post that got me into being obsessed with pop culture. As a result of being fascinated by the characters, I began to look at other work they had done which led me to look at other good movies and so on. As a kid, I’d glean magazines in the super market to find anything new or interesting that I didn’t already know about Star Wars. I was just interested in the story. How they made it appealed to my nine year old mind. This would lead me to being amazed with the art of special effects.

There was a magazine that I have never really given any real credit to. If Star Wars was the father to my love of movies then Starlog is the quiet stepfather in the background. To this day, I clearly remember picking up issue number 8 in the Big Star magazine rack while my mom was shopping for groceries. The back of it had an ad for Don Post Horror mask--now with Star Wars. The Vader mask excited me and I began to fantasize about ruling the galaxy with my dark evil overlord might (or as much evil might as a nine year old can conjure up. Suck that, Obi-Wan) this caught my eye and I began to flip through the pages. There was a small story about Star Wars but so much more that I enjoyed including an interview with the guys who made the dinosaurs on Land of the Lost. Sold!

            Because of that magazine, I discovered all these classic sci-fi movies like The Time Machine, The Day the Earth Stood Still, and Forbidden Planet. Starlog was probably required reading up until my freshman year at YHC when it got to be too difficult to track down issues and I couldn’t afford the subscription. All of these amazing new facts began to pop into my young mind and slowly I was realizing that I was fascinated not just by movies but also how they were made. At dinner, I’d share about how Lucas came up with the idea to name Indiana Jones after his dog, how stop motion would lead into the development of Go-motion, and how new civilizations terrain could be illustrated by merely painting on to a pane of glass and projecting the movie around it., To this day, part of the fun of movie watching is figuring out what techniques were used as well as the acting and story development.



         The real treat would be when I could glean some new item about the Star Wars universe. I’d memorize this new nugget of knowledge for later use and go along my merry way. All of this always prompted the same response from my father:

“What can you possibly use this information for in your future? What good is that going to do?”

            My dad was generally supportive in most of my creative endeavors but he honestly did not understand my growing obsession for Star Wars and other movies. Looking back I realize he just wanted to help form a well-rounded kid but this always bugged me. We had shared a love of Bugs Bunny cartoons when I was younger and spent much time laughing and discussing the finer points of the Road-Runner-will-he-ever-get-caught-by-the-Coyote-argument. It made no sense to me that we couldn’t do the same about Star Wars.



I have the C3PO & R2 as a poster hanging in my bathroom



         It wasn’t just a movie as much as a pop culture phenomena. It was one of the first items that I can remember that the merchandising was inundated into our lives. I begged for us to dine at Burger King to get the glasses and even the posters. (Most of which are still on display in my house as I type). All of the books and comics slowly grew into my collection. And the toys…

            God oh mighty, those were the most amazing toys made. The landspeeder had these hidden wheels to give the illusion of gliding over the ground. The detail on the characters must have been straight from the costume design sheets, even the faces never really looked like them. The included weapons were pretty impressive though way too small to keep up with. The light sabers would even extend from a switch hidden in the arms. I still have these little treasures of youth and plan to share them with Jude and Ronnie one day. Can’t wait for them to see my Death Star playset.  

         

Best. Toy. Ever.

           With all of this stuff hovering around me as a kid, it’s no wonder that I still a bit obsessed with this movie. My old buddy, Jeff Doke and I were talking about this and he shared a term with me that might literally change the way I see things.

            Jeff explained that his dad looked at Star Wars much like mine and even went so far as to call it a “load of bunk.” As disheartening as that was for Jeff, he still wanted the same thing I wanted from my Dad which was a buddy to share all this with. The more I talk to fans; I find this to be the case for them too. Looking back, nobody realized the social impact that Lucas’s space opera trilogy had on us.

            Doke went on to say that it’s his belief that these movies had such an impact that we shouldn’t be considered a part of Generation X. In truth, we are Generation Lucas because the social impact. Frankly, I kind of like this more than being a Gen Xer.

            A few weeks back, I received a text from Kim that was marked important. As I read it, I realized that Jude was asking some questions. To say Jude likes Star Wars is a bit of an understatement and he hangs out and talks the SW talk with his 2^nd grade buddies. His buddy Oswald, is a self proclaimed expert but frankly, I have no idea what sort of expert because so far he has tried to convince Jude that Yoda has a twin brother named Yogurt and an older brother named Yacht. Its one thing to be wrong but quite another in my book to continue to be wrong and try pass yourself off as an expert. I am not a fan of Oswald and his fucked up school of  Star-Warsology.

 

The text question from Jude was, “Who taught Qui-Gonn Jinn to be a Jedi?” I quickly texted back that Qui-Gonn was taught by Dooku and became one of the greatest Jedi lightsaber duelist of all time which made his death at the hands of Darth Maul even more tragic.  As I looked at all this info that I had shared, I began to shake my head in embarrassment. I am a 43 year old man acting like a nerdy kid. This bit of information took up space that should have gone to Algebra or something useful. Why do I know these things?

            This morning Ronnie, Jude and I were playing my X-box with the Lego SW saga and having a blast. While we played they assaulted me with technical questions. How did they make the taun-tauns work? What’s a bantha? Kim even asked how they made the noises for the lightsabers. And I am rattling out answers left and right. Furthermore, I love it because I can see the kids getting that same faraway look in their eyes that I had at that age. I may be little but if I use my mind, I can create anything with what I have around me.

            Have I spent too much of my life obsessing like a 43 year old man child on a badly acted sci-fi movie that is nearly 30 years old? Probably. Do I waste my money on silly items based on that movie because I trying relive my youth? Probably.

            I wish my Dad was still alive for so many reasons but now I have another one now. I now honestly believe that I learned all this stuff not so much for my own enjoyment but that someday a seven year old boy would want to understand just what exactly does that Corrrellian Blood Stripe mean that is on Han Solo’s pants and why Dooku was trained by Yoda. He has those answers because a nerdy little boy took the time to learn this, grew up, ands loves bonding with his new partner in crime and in the process looks like the coolest guy in the world to that seven year old. That’s why.



A Long Time Ago With a Family Not So Far Away......

         

 It was the summer of 1977 and Mom, Dad, and I were visiting our Uncle George in glamorous Claxton, Ga. Little did I know that my life was about to change in the fruitcake capital of the world. When I was little I always enjoyed hanging out at Uncle George because I thought his teenage daughter was really cool. That would change but that happens much later.

          During the game she began to talk about this new movie that had come out and I should consider seeing. It was called Star Wars and was a cool sci-fi adventure. Maria went into great detail explaining how the villain Darth Vader had a laser sword and was hunting our heroes. At the end, was a climatic space battle. There was even a wise cracking space pirate with his pet ape. I was hooked and have never bothered to cut that hook out of my mouth since that day.



What is so sad is that I still want my room to look like this.



To say I liked Star Wars as a kid was an understatement. Every poster I could find, I’d spend my allowance on to hang up in my room. I cut the promo pictures of the toy and cereal boxes to decorate. I kept very special care of all the toys and to this day, have them all including their tiny guns. I dreamed of being Han Solo and flying the Millennium Falcon through my own version of the Kessel Run. It was a great time for my imagination.

          As I got older, I never really parted ways with Star Wars in spite of Lucas’s many attempts to rape my childhood. It may not be my favorite movie but it’s certainly had the most influence on me and my love of cinema. It amazes me to see how this particular movie has touched so many people and not just the geeks like me. This is a pop culture, mainstream phenomena.  

          I get to relive all this now that kids are in my life. My often mentioned sidekick, Jude, has got me watching  the saga again. I love it. I forgot the simplest idea of enjoying Star Wars over the past 30 years. It’s best viewed with kids.

          Jude and Ronnie kept asking great questions and some actually made me think. I was also surprised to see how scary The Empire Strikes Back was from their level. Mary and my old friend, David Dowd, got to sit in on that viewing. All in all, it’s proving to be an amazing viewing experience.  

So Halloween is looming and Jude is still on this Han Solo kick that seems all too familiar. He has decided that seeing that we are best friends just like Han and his co-pilot Chewbacca, it makes sense we dress as them. I am thrilled and also amazed at how much delight I had searching for a Chewbacca outfit. Thanks, Ebay!

This is more fitting that it shoudl be....

          The only problem is that Chewie’s bandolier looks really cheap so I have decided to not only make a blaster holster for Jude to wear on his just like his favorite space pirate but now I am also making a homemade bandolier. Once again the internet surprises me with its resources and creative URL names. Who knew there was a www.making wookie.com?

          So to recap, I get to relive not one but three favorite experiences of childhood. I am digging watching my favorite space opera with my new family while at the same time getting psyched about making costumes for a favorite holiday that I have not gotten to enjoy for a few years. Now if I can only get a certain hot mom of said children to agree to trick or treat as slave girl, Leia, as seen in Return of the Jedi,  I’ll be ready to make my own “Life is Good” shirt.

Beautiful Girl

          So we are swimming in the pool yesterday evening. It’s Kim, the kids, Mary, and myself having a little last minute summer fun. In typical Jude fashion, he is splashing extreme amounts of water which surprises me in how such a little guy can create such tsunami style waves. This of course leads to me chasing Jude in a fake, angry pose. Veronica joins in and in normal Ronnie-style; she is in until the tables are turned on her.

            Ronnie begins to pitch this “crying-please-leave-me-alone-I’m-just-a-child-thing” but I’ve learned not to buy it. Over the past 8 months, I’ve come to learn how Veronica is the elementary school equivalent to Meryl Streep. I reach out to grab her and carry her off somewhere in the pool. I barely touch her arm and she begins to howl,” My leg! You’re hurting my leg!” I hesitate but Kim is overlooking this whole interchange and says nothing so I know that Meryl Streep is going for another Oscar. I pull her close but carefully because I am very aware that the kids recently had knee surgery. Something crazy happens.

            She goes from screaming to realizing that I am not buying and she calms down then wraps her little arms around me and holds me. It was at that moment I realized; we have never had a moment like this before. I hold her tight and tell her that I love her but I am not buying this “crying wolf crap” and it needs to stop. She nods and apologizes then explains that she is nervous when anybody holds her except for her mom. “My dad has made some bad choices and it’s stuck with me.”

            Out of the mouth of babes. That is the first time Ronnie has ever said anything about the father she has all this hero worship for. The same father who never returns calls or acknowledges either child except for when he wants to look good. I get it. I am lucky that my childhood is pretty much the poster for bliss but I have worked with kids long enough to realize that I am a very lucky minority. Ronnie and her brother are really blessed in that Kim has made them the center of their universe and really is Super-Mom. Regardless of that fact that he defended out country. As a father, this guy sucks so I understand why Ronnie is always testing me. She’s afraid that I am going to leave once she gets comfortable with the notion that I am a part of their lives.

"Excuse me sir, I do believe you are the coolest man in the world. "
"No, sir, that would be you."



Jude was an easy relationship to forge.  Boys are so much easier to deal with plus we have the same interests like pirates, Star Wars, and blowing shit up. It’s hard not to like each other. We are practically the same person but just at different junctions of our life span.

Veronica and I have had an interesting road together. We know that we both love each other but we just can’t seem to drop our guards with each other long enough. The sad truth is that, at times, there is that dark part of me that is afraid to trust her much like she feels about me. I am aware and working on this so as to be an example.

I do love this little girl and so much of me just want to grab her, hold her close and tell her that I love her and want her to know that I plan on running interference for her from now on. Much like the differences between cats and dogs, 10 year old girls aren’t wired like seven year old boys, and I have many hoops to work my way through.  Many times, I have wanted to figure out a way to get in touch with her piece of shit father and thank him for the number he is doing on his little girl through his blind indifference. I relent because I know that it will probably back fire and makes things much worse. Plus, I like the idea of him not being around. Kim and the kids seem much happier. I still get so angry when I see Ronnie try and call her father only to get another voice mail. It breaks my heart.

Summer Vacation



Yesterday was a big deal for me. We shared going crabbing and fishing together for the first time which was such a large part of my formative years. More and more, we keep sharing our previous lives with each other and it seems to be taking. Between the salt water dock time and the amazing embrace we shared in the pool, I feel like we’ve turned another corner in our relationship.

I am not naïve. I know that at some point today, Ronnie will say something smart aleck to me or her mother and I’ll call her down. I just hope when it happens, she is going to remember that hug and how I know that we both are in this together to the end. I know that is what I am using for the mantra in my head. Until we got to have another moment like the awesome last one.

Worlds are Colliding and it's Pretty Cool....

Yesterday might have been one of the best days I have had in years. Mary flew in from CT and got finally meet Kim and the young’uns. It went more than well. Not only did we have fun family time but I also got my birthday present form Mary. I always look forward in getting/giving gifts to Mary. We never ask the other what they want because basically we just buy something we know that we like. It works on some wacky geek-like level. Mary outdid herself this year in getting the oversized DC Digest featuring Superman versus the Flash. I used to collect these as a kid and still will pick them up when I can find them on Ebay. Remarkable stuff. There is nothing like 1950s internal monologue.

Sups v. Flash? Who wins? The reading audience..

So I was pretty nervous about Mary meeting Kim and the kids. On one level, I knew it would be fine but on the other Seinfeldian level, I was worries about how it can result when worlds collide.

Needless to explain, it went awesome. I t went so well that at many points, I did not recognize the small children sitting beside who were delivering loads of adoration and politeness to my newly arrived sister. It was like Jude and Ronnie was star struck by Mary’s presence and all I could do was sit back and be amused. In turn, Kim was sitting back and getting amused by watching my reactions to the kids especially polite and docile Ronnie who shared, once prompted by an incredulous me, that she was merely”making a good impression.”

I get it.

Watching the kids has made me realize just how much life repeats itself and usually not all that far from how it originally developed. Watching Ronnie took me back to how I used act when our Uncle Billy would fly in from California to spend Xmas with us. He was so cool and exotic, I had to follow him around because he was so interesting plus he enjoyed Star Wars which is always a plus to a 9 year old boy. In my world, we had much to discuss.

Kim took Jude down to dock after dinner and she told me this story of how Jude wanted to guide her because he knew the way and it was Kim’s first trip. Along the way, Jude is pointing out little tidbits that he has been told and relaying them back to his mom. He proudly announced that he has decided the he’s the family’s guide to the river on Saturday when we all go crabbing off the dock and planned on getting us all there safely.

I didn’t share this with Kim at the time. My man-ovaries were a little choked up from this adorable sentiment but as that ebbed away, I had a memory that I have not thought about in over 30 plus years. I was roughly about Jude’s age and loved going down to the river with my Dad and Pop just like Jude does. Somehow I made the conscious decision that I too, was going to be a salt water guide. I would usher all safely back and forth from the dock.  I also planned to include guided raft trips quite similar to the ones not unlike how I had experienced at the Jungle Cruise over at Walt Disney World earlier that year with my grandparents.  

I remember I even went so far as to wear my Pop’s foreman’s hat because it looked just like a Safari hat. Using spare plywood and my red wagon for a frame, a raft-boat-car creation was crafted. It did not float but that is another story and one about how cool my grandfather was in helping keep me out of trouble.



Robby & Jude's River Guides
Come for the Adventure
Stay for the Fondue



We like to consider ourselves as such unique and individualistic types of creatures but we really aren’t. From watching the students I teach, I began to catch on that trends really do repeat themselves. A lot of the same stuff sold at Spencer’s is exactly what I was buying when I was a kid like wacky shoe laces and sarcastic buttons/stickers.

 Now that I have children in my life that I actually watch learn and grow right in front of me, I begin to relate to just how many personal experiences also are on some external loop. Yet, rather than being boring, it seems to draw us together. Watching Jude and Ronnie makes me laugh and understand just how much fun they are having because I’ve been there before just with different people. For once, that is a rerun that I don’t mind watching again.

 

Insert Obligatory "Cats in the Cradle" Reference Here

On Sat, my mom had us all over for a late b-day dinner at her place. It was the first time I've take Veronica and Jude out to the family homestead and they had a blast. I knew they'd have fun because Ronnie digs hangin out with my mom and Jude got cut loose on 4 acres to be a seven year old boy on.

I had a feeling of pride and wonderment as I watched my mom show hte kids around the place. It's a neat old house with many exciting nickknacks to catch a kid's eye. I know that one first hand.Ronnie loved looking at my old ictures and got a kick out contiunously asking me what happended because I was such a cute kid. I actually found that one kind of funny and had to agree.

Stuart took Jude down to the dock and whne they got boack I had a strange moment of deja vu. As Jude entered the kitchen he looked and reminded me of walking back from the dock and coming into the house with my Pop. It was odd to be thinking that thirty-three years ago, I used to be the shaggy headed, tan kid in shorts running around the house all barefoot.  Instead of seven-year -old Robby going on about seeing some fiddler crabs of a really cool boat, it was Jude.

The torch has been passed and the next generation has begun. Rather than being schooled by my grandfather  about the hows and whys of nature, it's now up to me to pass on why Jude and Ronnie need to love the low country and all it's gifts. Next week, my sister will join me and we are going to take the kids "crab fishng" as Jude likes to call it. I am a little nervouse but also very excited and hope these kids will love the river like I do. They are not Richardsons by blood but there is good chance it may be by proxy so I got work to do.

Just Enjoy the Ride on my Trip Around the Sun......

      So today is my birthday and I can’t keep from smiling ear to ear. Everybody loves to get gifts but quite frankly, it has lost some of its luster for me over the years. The first birthday that Dad was gone, Mom gave me this and it is something that I treasure.

Savannah Morning News Christmas Tournament 1962

     This is a charm that my father wore on his

varsity jacket for playing in the Savannah

Morning News Xmas Tournament in 1962

for Jenkins High School.

As a child, I was mesmerized by this charm.

To recieve this as a gift, was a very powerful

moment and reinforced the idea that my father

was gone.

     I only bring it out on special occasions or during basketball season now that I teach at Jenkins. The

kids, especially the players, get a kick out of it. It makes me feel like I am still close to my dad and I even

refer to "taking Dad with me" when I put it on. It has been my favorite gift I have ever recieved.

     Until today......

     Kim had been stressing about what to get me and I kept telling her not to sweat it. I have known that I

have something special w/ her but she finally did the one thing I have told all my girlfriends when they got

stumped on what to get me. I have always said, "Call my sister, Mary." Kim did and she somehow the

two have bounded and become friends. On certain levels, this should terrify me but it brings me great

amounts of glee.

     Anyway, I digress. Kim gave me the most thoughtful gift that it actually brought tears to eyes.

          She made a scrapbook based on a joke I

kept making about the Summer of Robby that I

based on a George Constanza reference from

Seinfeld. She chronicled out entire summer and

even got pictures from our friends. Sandwiched

in there, are several of my blogs written  over

this amazing summer.


     I think what I love the most about this gift is that it is a reminder of what has been the best summer I

have had since the term summer break was used. I am truly at a happy point in my life and got to share it

with three amazing peple that I met back in February. I have not laughed this much since my days

working a s a camp counsleor. I have not felt as loved by anyone like this with the exception of my

family and good friends.

    The odd thing is that I have always disliked my birthday a little bit because it is has been a constant

reminder of the summer ending. My family and friends have always made my birthday feel special and

I apprecaite it. This year is even more special with the addition of Kim and the kids.  I have this funny

feeling that as the years go by, I'll always look at this scrapbook as a nice little time capsle of the Summer

of Robby.