Tuesday, January 3, 2012
What Do You Mean We Have to Plan a Wedding Now?
Everyone has a series of “go-to” jokes they pull out in everyday conversations. One of mine comes out if I do something stupid in front of a crowd. At that point, I usually respond in my most self deprecating manner, “Well, I guess this explains why I teach special education.”
I had a series of those moments today as I returned back to school after an awesome Xmas break. It was surprising at how happy I felt to be back at work. For the most part, I enjoy my co-workers and loved hearing about their break too. People were very congratulatory to me about Kim and my engagement. I have to admit that enjoyed hearing all the well wishing and nice things. Around 11:00, I began to think that I should get engaged more often.
Around lunchtime, the word began to spread like wildfire. That’s when the questions began: Have you set a date? Who’s your caterer? Do you need a photographer? How are you set on invitations? I know a guy and can get you the friends/family price. Will there be a chocolate fountain? Would you like to borrow our trellis? How can you not have a Star Wars theme?
My head began to ache at everything we have to do.
Then it hit me.
In my own odd thought process, I never bothered to fully grasp how I have a wedding to plan. Please do not misunderstand me. There is no doubt in my mind that about getting hitched to Kim. For some stupid reason, I had assumed how once we got engaged, we’d sit back and bask in that happy glow for a few months before getting around to any actual wedding plans.
Kim is already looking at options for us. Nothing is set in stone yet, much less an actual date. My nerves kicked in at first but now I am just excited.
I have no idea what we are going to do except for one thing. This wedding is going to be about our love and our choices. We have a lot of decisions to make about what we want but the cool thing is that we are going to do it together and for ourselves. This time, I refuse to add people to the wedding party because so-and-so would look good up there matched whose-his-face. I am not going to go out of my way to invite this person just because they are important to someone’s job and need to be recognized by everyone. We will not hire this person to do whatever because they are owed a favor.
I have been through that dog-and-pony show before. Quite honestly, all that appeasement crap made my first wedding to Satan’s daughter just all the more unpleasant. As I look back, all I really remember is a blur of greetings and well wishes followed by a reception that I had to leave early because bridezilla was about to pass out. (Never mix Xanex w/ Cruzan orange Rum)
Am I bitter? Probably a little bit. I’ll give you that. But I promised I learned my lesson. This time around, the pageantry doesn’t matter. I just want to be able to look into Kim’s eyes and watch those adorable cheeks that made me fall in love with her, as I say the words, “I do.”
I do not care if the wedding is in a church, on a beach, a square, or even front of a judge in the courthouse. I am not worried about flowers, save the date cards, or who’s the best deal for pictures. This time around, I finally have a little perspective in what matters and what can be left at the door. This is about us and our love. Our wedding will not become a show to be presented in front of our friends and family. I have no idea what our wedding will be but I am a 100% sure it will be a perfect celebration of the love between Robby J. Richardson, Jr. and Kim Theresa Wade.
I am not going to lie to you though. I do not hate the idea of a chocolate fountain. Is there such thing as a pudding fountain?